a confession

i think of you, not often, but often enough. the thoughts diffuse like a broken string of beads moving down the staircase you may be descending or ascending. the beads fall nonchalantly in a linear manner, aligned and rhythmic, into an amorphous space. i delude my self with an illusive familiarity: you are alone, of course. the beads have disappeared. at the precipice, surely you think of me, too. the walls are narrower than i first perceived. we disperse facts and anecdotes. since we are on equal footing now, i have to confess that i am now thinking of death and you must be too. it is the epicentre of this building--floating, gliding, metamorphosing, alive. nothing can reverse its movement. my angst arises and i begin to falter; you are now difficult to read, you always were. i notice the brown creaks, the evasive dust, loose hair, broken hairpin, torn note, and muddied foot prints on the stairs. none belong to you.